The first week of the WordPress Blogging101 course has been fun and exhausting and tough. The discussion about choosing a theme had me really stumped. It’s supposed to showcase what my blog is about. Umm…oops. I don’t know what my blog is about, so I guess I really need to figure THAT out first.
Anyway, now it’s the weekend and I get to slow down. Instead of writing what I’m told (and yes, I do realize these are suggestions, not commands), I wanted to write a post that was “from the heart”, but without getting sappy. And I remembered recently seeing the quote from Oscar Wilde which is the title of this post. It’s cute, short, and funny, all of which I think I am, so I liked it and wanted to somehow use that. However, being also slightly scholarly (hells yes, footnotes in a blog post), I wanted to include a date with the quote, so down into the Internet I dove. Well…. One rabbit hole led to another, and hours went by while I researched, and browsed, and got sidetracked. Eventually I came back to the surface, and it seems that our Oscar did NOT in fact say that, but he DID say some other things about who we are, which have a bearing on my trying to be myself.
He said that being natural was “such a very difficult pose to keep up.”* I’m finding that to be even more true here, than in ‘real’ life. When I’m just talking I don’t have time to go back and repair, rewrite, reword, rework. It just comes out and it’s left as it comes. Here, I keep trying to force my words to exactly the right thing, and yet still feel spontaneous, but I just feel like I’m beating my words to death; by the time I’ve read the same sentence 15 times over, I’m sick of it and I can’t imagine that ANYone would want to read it. If I keep that up I’ll never get anything posted.
So I’m going to STOP ‘trying’ to be so natural, and just empty my head, as advised to do by Jonathan, in his excellent blog Recursive Words**. And I’m counting on you, Gentle Reader, (follower or not) to keep me honest in this quest. If I sound like I’m trying too hard, if I don’t just sound like someone talking to you, call me out on it. My feelings won’t be hurt – I’m ASKING you to tell me when I’m being boring and overly-crafted. I’m here to learn how to be better at this. (If your problem is with WHAT I’m saying, rather than how I’m saying it, don’t tell me. Just stop reading and go away. I’m not looking for a censor or a conscience, just an editor.)
<grimace><whisper>Geez, that was longer than most of my posts so far, and it was just meant to be the introduction.<\whisper><\grimace>
So, this is me, emptying my head, in a heap on the floor:
* An Ideal Husband, 1895