The Dreaded Cruise, Part Three

Some more random visions from last week, bubbling up like repressed memories…

Miami airport… Abuelita surrounded by her loving, multi-generational family, why have none of them told her to pull up her support hose? They are puddling like elephant ankles and threatening to spill out over her… wait for it… plastic stripper shoes with the platform soles!

This one is my own fault, can’t really blame the cruise … wardrobe malfunction of my own. Somehow the stack of cute lady-tshirts was left behind so I had to go 5 days and nights with only 2 nice lady-tshirts (both pink), 2 beer-slogan tshirts (originally intended for use ONLY at pool/beach, but now worn at breakfast), and one tank top. Sheesh.

But to be fair… there actually were some good things to come out of it. We got to play a LOT of “Oooh, look, it’s …” And yes, I know none of them actually WERE who we said, but they sure looked like:

  • Bastard love child of Donna Summer and Whitney Houston (variously referred to as Donney Sumston or Whitna Houmer)
  • Bastard love child of …see if you can guess, we called her either J-Once, or Be-Lo
  • Chloe, from 24
  • Sandra Bullock (pre-makeover in the movie Love Potion #9)
  • Adam Levine and Chelsea Peretti, making out at the pool bar
  • Charlton Heston, hitting on a bartender from the Ukraine
  • Michael Cera
  • Kenney Chesney (about 4 of them)

AND…. I lost 2 lbs. That’s right – 24-hour buffet food, all-you-can-eat ice cream, all-you-can-eat pizza, and I STILL managed to drop 2 lbs! I’m 10 cruises and 2 stomach viruses from my goal weight!!

AND… I had the chance to say, in response to “glad you’re back”, “glad to BE back”, and for once I actually meant it!

Plus, I fell in love with a new artist – David Le Batard, known to the art world as Lebo. Here are two of my favorites, you can check out the rest of his collection here.



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