I’ve been nominated for an award, the substance of which seems to be that I get to add a widget, face an inquisition, and then subject other bloggers to the same thing. It smells like a pyramid scheme, though I can’t see any profit in it. So, while I thank Jaime and Belinda for the honor, I will politely decline.
Which leads me to today’s Daily Prompt: (Your Thing) For Dummies.
Being A Bitch For Dummies
1. Always attempt to see the downside of any situation, no matter how positive it might appear at first sight.
When given a gift, look for the flaws, and be sure to mention that you A) already have one, B) are allergic to it, C) used to have one but sold it at a lawn/yard/garage sale, or D) will be able to re-gift it for a work colleague’s birthday.
2. Be sure to put your feelings ahead of anyone else’s.
If invited to a party, reply that you are pretty sure you’re available that night, but you just don’t want to come. “Other people’s houses are always so weird”
When a group of work colleagues are having a lunch, or after-work drinks party, decline on the basis that you “don’t like that place” (the message being that you don’t like THEM enough to put up with a place you don’t like).
When complimented or praised, first ponder aloud what’s in it for the giver.
And that’s about it – it’s easy. WAY easier than being kind and thoughtful and giving and nice.