******Pre-post update (whoa…pre-post? That hurts my head. Anyway…): After I finished this draft, but before I scheduled it, I ran across a whole bunch of posts by very nice people who are already doing Christmassy things, and I just want it to be clear that this whole rant of mine is aimed at one specific person, who does not read my blog, thank goodness. So if any of YOU lovely people are reading this, just know that I don’t mean you.*******
I always thought that the whole Black Friday thing was ridiculous, evil retailers manufacturing a sense of urgency, adding more stress on top of the ‘normal’ Thanksgiving stresses (about which I’m probably going to write something in about 2 weeks, hint hint)… but now it’s getting BEYOND ridiculous. It’s just past HALLOWEEN, for crying out loud! They’re calling it the Black Friday SEASON!!!! BUY! BUY! BUY!
No. Stop. Stop it right now. In 44 days, give each other an orange and a hug and STOP BEING SUCH GIANT ASSHATS. (That’s right…44 days. Stress on THAT, asshats!)
The title of this post is a DIRECT quote from one of my co-workers, who is what I really want to blog about today. You know him, he’s the one who is CONSTANTLY whining about how much STRESS he’s under, and how difficult the holidays are because he has to have 25 people come to his house and he has to decorate it from top to bottom and put out the festive-holiday-themed trinkets and baubles and sheets and towels and silverware and lampshades and all of that has to be cleaned first, and then the NON-festive-holiday-themed things of course have to be cleaned also before being put away and how exhausting that all is and how of course NO ONE helps him they just think elves do it every year and ON AND ON AND ON until I’m as exhausted as he is reading about it (but yay! he does all this in a chat app, not in person, so at least I don’t have to pretend I’m paying attention.). Then of course AFTER the holidays it’s the whole production taken down and put away and I’ll be reading about that through all of January.
And every year I say – don’t do it – go to a restaurant – make someone else host the party – I say a lot of things but the one thing I DON’T say, because I CAN’T say it is SHUT UP ALREADY, THIS IS ALL SELF-INFLICTED AND I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT ANYMORE.
He’s like a stray dog that keeps coming around, and I made the mistake of patting him once – now he KEEPS coming around and I have to keep patting him. My end of the conversation is almost exclusively: ‘wow’, ‘really?’, ‘oh my’, ‘gosh’, etc. He doesn’t notice; he’s not there to have a conversation, he’s there to whine and moan and poor-me, poor-me.
(Kind of like I’m doing with you, right now.)
I don’t want to KICK the stray dog, I just want to not have to pat it anymore.
Featured image credit: http://www.dailymail.co.uk