My First Day at College

Dropped off by my sister with a stack of albums, a carton of Gitanes, and a not-yet-worn SMWLAU* sweatshirt – I stared up at the sand-and-grey stone building.

My introduction to my 3 roommates was watching them use grain alcohol, hairspray and a lighter to kill a cockroach. Welcome to grown-up life! I’d never even SEEN a cockroach before. And I didn’t own any hairspray.

That was the first day of what turned out to be 5 long years during which I learned about the Grateful Dead, backgammon, 7-11 chili cheese dogs, Billie Holiday, and Plato’s Symposium.

I think I’d like to do it all over again. I’d skip that fight with the girl from Florida. I have NO idea what it was about now, but there was hair-pulling, and arm-flailing and many tears. I’d also skip the whole episode with that Philosophy major from Texas; he wasn’t good for me.

What I wouldn’t skip? Fencing, the time the elevator button shocked me 10 feet backwards onto my ass, and the time Amos Otis (not her real name, and no relation to the shocky elevator) and I broke a door.  Just by opening it, I swear.  While wearing black felt bowler hats.  Good times, good times.

*Small Mid-Western Liberal Arts University, so named to protect the innocent, and to maintain my fragile anonymity.


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