Tag Archives: zombie apocalypse

If We Were Having Coffee…2016 Week 1

And if  you showed up at my door on Saturday morning, I’d probably boot you right back out the door again, and tell you to come back tomorrow morning, but not too early.

Then on SUNDAY, I’d tell you that I’m sorry, but I had a ton of laundry and housecleaning to do prior to…the in-laws stopping by to break up their drive back down to Isla Retirementa, Florida from their two-week siege visit to The Brother in New Jersey. Wobbly-legged from arthritis, with weak hearts (and weak brains, but that’s another story), bad eyesight and poor hearing, they still insist on driving from FL to NJ and back every year. And they  will NOT be put in a hotel, even at our seriously-incredibly-glad-to-do-it-expense, but would prefer to spend the stopover night here in our cat-hair-allergy-triggering, wooden-staircase-oh-Christ-there-goes-my-back-again upstairs bedroom.

And no, we don’t make them stay in THE upstairs bedroom, we only HAVE upstairs bedrooms. They know this. They’ve always known this. They can barely WALK! Why…someone, for the love of all that is sensible, someone PLEASE tell me WHY they insist on staying here?    {deep breaths, in with the calm, out with the vitriol, in with the peace, out with the screaming fantods – it’s over now, you survived} ok. better now.

And along with the in-laws’ arrival’s prep work, there were also the regular weekend chores, compounded by the ‘we only do this the first weekend of each month’ chores, like changing the mattress pads, and the pillow covers (not to be confused with the pillowCASES, which are the ones you see, or the pillowSLIPS which go between the cover and the case.) And on a side note, are we the only people who sleep with three layers between our faces and the ticking? Mr Tater thinks we are.

Once I got all THAT out of my system, I’d tell you about how glad I am that this holiday season is over.  Two weeks in a row of never knowing exactly what day it is has me all discombobulated.  Back to normal now, and speaking of normal… it seems to be a bit chilly out there this morning. FINALLY, the weather is getting close to what it’s “supposed” to be in January.

I’d tell you that I’ve been reading a lot of bloggers’ resolutions, and decisions, and goals – I’m sticking with my plan of New Month’s Whatevers…for January, it’s get out there and WALK every day and the ONLY thing that is allowed to stop me is seriously inclement weather. Not laziness, not busy-ness, just bucketing down rain, or gale-force winds, or zombie apocalypse-type stuff. Well, and having a lot of post-in-laws clean up and the taking-down-of-even-our-tiny-effort-at-decorating work. That can interfere, too.

I exceeded my 2015 Goodreads Reading Challenge of 100 by an additional 8! Go eyes! This year I’ve set it for 104, a ice even 2 per week,  but I’m making a vow, and to myself only, because I think I might break this one) to read at least one non-fiction work per month. Not a big fan of non-fiction, and I couldn’t tell you why. I’m breaking into it easy with Felicia Day’s memoir, You’re Never Weird On The Internet (mostly). It’s a fun read, she tells a great story.

I’d WANT to tell you about how incredibly weird I find most of humanity to be, and as evidence I’d tell you about Cousin Heloise’s breakfast vampire and Cousin Theodora’s chicken-soup-and-cake cancer. But I’ll save those for another whine-fest coffee get-together.